My First Business Trip
As some of you may know, I recently graduated and immediately started my first big girl job. Though it’s only been a handful of months, I could easily write a book about the people and encounters I have had in the corporate world thus far. This week, I took my first ever business trip. Needless to say, I’ve learned many things…. and I’m not talking about sales pros, marketing tools, etc. I’m talking about all the information I’ve gathered from the people watching I’ve done in less the 72 hour trip I embarked on.
- People don’t go on these trips to learn about new applications and tools in their field of sales. Nope. They are here to drink heavily, stay up till all hours in the night and cross HR boundaries.
- If you aren’t sleeping with a manager or hooking up with other members of your team then you have no intentions of success. Duh! Clearly it’s not who or what you know… it’s who you’re doing!
- People will try to expense everything!
- Career Ending Decisions (CEDs) are a common occurrences on these kinds of trips. Just hope that 1) everyone else is drunk enough not to remember how you made an ass of yourself and 2) that no one has documented the event with a snap shot or video of your stupidity. The last thing you need is an email, tweet, Facebook post, or YouTube video of you circulating the office come Monday morning.
- Open bar translates to everyone drink till you shit out your liver.
- Business casual dress means wear the tightest most revealing outfit your own. I appreciate human anatomy but this is no time for a lesson.
- If you choose to scream throughout the airport people with either assume you’re in danger or you’re the cause of the danger. If it turns out that neither apply to you, you better run like hell cause people will want to kick your ass.
- Flight attendants used to be beautiful women who helped and served you while in flight. Hell they made a show about them. But now they are heartless, ugly women, who shove past you, prevent you from using the lavatory and suck all the warmth and happiness out of the air like dementors from Harry Potter. Do not piss them off!
Needless to say, I did more people watching than I ever thought possible for such a short trip. I’ve learned to appreciate the confines of my small purple cubicle and proceed with caution around those in the office who might have a STD or the tendency to cheat on their spouses with anything that moves. Overall, this was one learning experience I will never forget.